Yes, Things Really Are Getting Smaller

After almost twenty years of intense political involvement, I've pulled back from any political activity for
the past three years. Other than writing this column, an occasional radio commentary, and voting…
I've stayed on the sidelines.

A couple of local races this summer have really piqued my interest, but I've pledged to myself to hold
off until after the election before writing what I really feel about what I see as deceptive political
advertising by some candidates.

So to get the deceptive marketing monkey off of my back I've decided to write about mayonnaise. Yep,
I'm talking good old Hellmann's mayonnaise.

Now ever since I was old enough to enjoy that southern delicacy called a 'mater sandwich, I've known
that mayonnaise comes in a quart jar, and it had to be a glass jar at that.

A few manufacturers have tried switching over to plastic jars recently and one or two have even trotted
out squeezable mayonnaise. No thanks, just give me my quart sized glass container of mayonnaise.

I've always handled the majority of grocery shopping for our family and if you're price conscious like I
am, you know the cost of eggs has skyrocketed over the past few months. The upper price limit on
large eggs stayed at 99 cents for many years, but for the last few months it has seemed like you've hit
the lottery if you can grab them for under a buck-fifty.

Since one of the primary ingredients in mayonnaise is the good old egg, you would expect the price of
that luscious creamy whiteness to rise a little and it has.

However, the good folks at Hellmann's have decided to try a different tactic. Recently they reduced the
size of Hellmann's mayonnaise from a quart (32 ounces), down to 30 ounces. Did you notice? You
don't have to feel like the Lone Ranger, as most people didn't.

You also probably haven't noticed that canned tuna that once came in an eight-ounce can has slowly
been shrinking a quarter ounce at a time over the years until it now weighs in at whopping six ounces.
Sorry Charlie!

Not to be outdone by the mayonnaise folks, the orange juice companies are hot on their heels. The
96-ounce Tropicana orange juice plastic jug has a great new shape… a shape that holds only 89
ounces.

You probably didn't notice though as the good people at Tropicana added a great new “fresh snap cap”
and included text announcing their great new feature right there on the container to divert your
attention as far away from the size labeling as possible. After all, that screw-on top was such an
inconvenience.

All of this product shrinking should come as no surprise. The one-pound bag of Fresh Express salad
mix was chopped to 12 ounces just a few months ago. One-pound containers of coffee have weighed
in at 13-ounces for several years.

Some ice cream manufacturers now only pack 56 ounces of air whipped creamy goodness into that
half-gallon (64-ounce) container. Hey honey, will you pick up a 1-3/4 quart size container of ice cream
on the way home tonight?

A one-pound bag of potato chips now arrives in the convenient 9-ounce bag with plenty of air to
cushion the chips against breakage. Candy bars are about half the size they were a few years ago.

Want more examples? Yogurt containers used to be 8-ounces, now yogurt comes in the great 6-
ounce size. The Whitman's chocolate one-pound sampler? Now it's 12-ounces.

The Shedd's Spread three-pound Country Crock of margarine now weighs in at 2-pounds, 13-ounces.
Quart jars of spaghetti sauce sell now in the handy 26-ounce size.

While we're talking about eggs, I wouldn't be surprised to see them soon come in the “great new” 10
egg carton. Less cholesterol, lower calories. Maybe milk will soon come in the 7/8-gallon size.

It also seems that no one thought about the impact all of this product shrinking would have on recipes
that call for standard sizes of ingredients. Since that quart jar of mayonnaise now only contains 30-
ounces instead of 32, I guess you'll have to buy two jars and use two ounces out of the second jar in
order to make that dish.

I'm so frugal when it comes to grocery shopping that I'm about to have a meltdown over this. Maybe I
need to go back to political consulting to take my mind off of things. At least we're not surprised when
politicians lie.

July 13, 2008