Charles Shiflett Column January 29, 2006

A Quick Read On The Week Gone By

Watch Out Smokers: For several decades the good folks of California have taken the lead in pollution
and environmental matters. Their actions usually impact environmental policy nationwide eventually, so
the news last week that California is looking to classify tobacco smoke as a toxic pollutant
immediately raised fears by smokers that smoking in public places could eventually be banned
nationwide.

Katrina: Be careful what you write in your e-mail… those things have a way of coming back to haunt
you. A few days ago it was revealed through an archived e-mail message that the Health Emergency
Preparedness Director in Louisiana turned down federal offers to assist with evacuating hospital
patients two days before Hurricane Katrina hit the state. The director said she would let the fed's know
if the state needed anything. Whoops!

We're Still A Super Power: Well not exactly, but Russian President Vladimir Putin desperately
wants the world to think so. During a press conference Tuesday he boasted that Russia has new
missile technology that will allow its missiles to penetrate any missile defense system in the world.
Now if they could just figure out how to tell real rocks from the fake ones the British have been using to
spy on Putin and company.

Vampire For Governor: Running for governor of Minnesota under the banner of the “Vampires,
Witches, and Pagans Party”, candidate Jonathan “The Impaler” Sharkey launched his campaign on
Friday the 13th last month by pledging to use impalement to execute murderers, rapists, and
terrorists. He also said, "As governor, terrorists and criminals will live in fear of me, while the people of
this state will be able to live fear free."

Well, that's not the whole story… seems Sharkey himself was arrested this week on charges from
Indiana of stalking and escape. His bond has been set at $100,000.

Never Watched, Never Will: Life is too short to spend it watching a gay oriented sitcom, so
needless to say I've never seen the NBC program “Will & Grace”. Now that's it's been announced that
moraly challenged pop-music diva Britney Spears will guest star as a Christian conservative in an
upcoming episode this spring, I think my decision not to watch has been justified.

Easy To Tell Who The Good Guys Are: Just finished playing back the president's State of the Union
Address on the old Tivo. Social Security reform? Democrats against. Make tax cuts permanent?
Democrats against. Nominate judges who will not legislate from the bench? Democrats against. Curb
dependence on foreign oil? Democrats against.

So What Are Democrats For? Well one Democrat congresswoman thought it would be great to
sneak poor little anti-war puppet Cindy Sheehan into the gallery for the State of the Union Address,
where she proceeded to disrupt the evening's proceedings prior to the president's arrival. She was
cuffed and removed… they should have hauled the childish congresswoman out as well.

Media Hypocrisy? There has been much spirited debate on talk radio the past week concerning the
media's coverage of the injuries to ABC News anchor Bob Woodruff and cameraman Doug Vogt. Both
were hurt by a roadside bomb while in Iraq.

Many military personnel and their family members are upset that the news networks have devoted so
much air time to Woodruff and Vogt, while barely covering soldiers who have also been injured through
the course of the war in Iraq. Republicans, Democrats, and the talk radio jockies were coming down all
over the board on this one… which made it more intriqing than I would have expected.

Relieved Of Her Command: When ABC trotted out their prime time television drama “Commander in
Chief” last fall, many Americans viewed the show as nothing more than an attempt to get us
acclimated to having a female president prior to Hillary Clinton's anticipated run.

Just as 51% of Americans in a recent poll rejected Hillary as a presidential candidate, most
Americans have given a big thumbs down to “Commander”. ABC has pulled the plug on the program
for now and hopefully Hillary's campaign will see the same fate.

Google: I spend about $250,000 a year purchasing advertising for my businesses on Google's search
engine, so I have a very up close and personal relationship with this Internet monster. I must admit I
never thought the stock would have had the success it has managed. Though the brains at Google
continue to trot out new and innovative products, I still think the company is overvalued… and the
dramatic drop in the stock price this week gives me hope that maybe one day I can say “told ya so!”
On the other hand, if I had purchased some of the IPO offering I could now cash out and retire.

Where's My Bike? I guess I need to drag my old Schwinn 10-speed out of the basement now that our
distinguished state legislature is considering mandatory seatbelt use in pickup trucks. I don't have
back problems, but if I wear a seatbelt my lower back goes into spasms within minutes. It doesn't
matter what I'm driving or how I adjust the seat, it happens every time… so I drive a truck.

On the other hand, maybe I should come out with a line of t-shirts with fake seatbelt straps printed
across the front. At 60 mph, it might be hard for law enforcement to tell the difference. And we could
market the shirts on Google!