Charles Shiflett Column March 13, 2005

Let's Try This Again

One of the first rules in sales and customer relations is to “give the customer what he wants”. So in
response to positive feedback on my last column where I quickly hit several topics instead of
concentrating on one… let's try this again.

• When a reporter asked her what she missed most while in prison, Martha Stewart replied, “I only
missed lemons.” After a long pause she added “family and friends” to the answer. Martha might be a
good cook, but she doesn't know the definition of the word “priority”.

• Poor Dan Rather Biased… after 24 years in the CBS anchor chair, even Walter Cronkite said that
Rather's retirement was overdue. I smell a great new reality show where Martha Stewart hosts the
CBS Evening News and Dan Rather hosts Martha's show. I'm sure the CBS News set will be
decorated fabulously, while Rather will probably try to pass frozen TV dinners off as his own gourmet
creation. Then he'll blame the show's producer when the deception is exposed.

• The State of Georgia is on the right track with the idea of placing a lottery ticket kiosk in Atlanta's
Hartsfield airport. Compared to the high price of concessions, lottery tickets will seem cheap. Plus
most ticket buyers will be from out of state and hopefully forget to check their wining numbers when
they return home. That means bigger jackpots and more dollars to pay for my sons' college tuition.

• Every two or three years we hear leftist politicians start their clamor for raising the minimum wage.
Guess which group is one of the loudest in supporting an increase? Labor unions. Seems some of
their contracts have provisions that mandate union pay to be so many times the minimum wage.
Increase the minimum and by default the union folks get more dough too.

If you really want to increase the average wage for unskilled workers, abolish the minimum wage.
Currently, the minimum wage suppresses unskilled workers' pay by setting an artificial floor.
Businesses use it as a crutch. Worker: “How much does the position pay?” Manager: “Minimum
wage.” Sounds official doesn't it?

Of course if you really, really, really want to increase wages… stop illegal immigration. It's supply and
demand. Artificially inflate the supply of workers and wages won't increase.

• Speaking of unions… we would all like for our employers to increase our wages and pay a larger
share of health insurance premiums, but Lockheed workers are treading dangerous territory. Anyone
remember Eastern Airlines? Lockheed Marietta's major defense contracts are already under close
budgetary scrutiny. Other Lockheed plants ratified the new labor contract. If you were Lockheed, which
facility would you shift production to?

• Forget the Michael Jackson trial, I'm watching the Blake Douglas trial. Douglas, a midwestern high
school student, wanted his school yearbook photo to be one of him with a broken-open shotgun on his
shoulder. His reasoning was that other students got to appear in their yearbook photo's with musical
instruments and other items to illustrate their hobbies. Douglas is a trap shooter, so he's suing the
school system. No word if Douglas has ever had plastic surgery or invited young boys to visit his
ranch.

• We're all spoiled. When inflation is factored in, $2 a gallon for gas is about the historical average.
Still something about that magic $2 threshold makes me cringe. Though it hurts the pocketbook, the
closer we get to $3 a gallon, the closer we get to having economically feasible alternative ways of
powering our automobiles… such as fuel cells.

These alternatives are virtually pollution-free, which defeats the argument of those who want us to
abandon our polluting cars in favor of mass transit. You can spend all day riding buses and trains to
get around if you wish, just don't ask me to subsidize your trips with my tax dollars. I prefer to come
and go when I want… not according to some bus schedule.

Finally… Mount St. Helens is spewing again. This one has personal connotations. My wife and I were
married in May twenty-five years ago on the day Mount St. Helens blew. A repeat eruption this May
would be good sign for us making it to fifty years. Stay tuned; next week we'll be discussing the Ford
Model T.