Charles Shiflett Column January 23, 2005

Strange When You Think About It

Thank goodness my word processing software contains a built-in spelling and grammar checker as I'm
suffering from a severe case of eyestrain. I've always been the entrepreneurial type and about three
years ago I began building some Internet retail web sites. Well one thing led to another and I now have
roughly 170 web sites with over 500,000 keyword-triggered ads hosted at Google.

The day after Christmas I received word that Google was implementing some major changes in its
advertising program that would impact me severely. My only choice was to begin rebuilding everything
and I've thus logged just over 350 hours in front of my computer monitor since Santa left town. Ain't
technology great?

With mush for brains today, my mind starting wandering as I tried to come up with something
entertaining for your consumption. Too tired and loopy for writing anything serious, I decided to let you
come along for the ride.

I guess that I'm one of those individuals that was blessed or cursed with a super-inquisitive mind…
depending on how you look at these things. Knowing how everything works, why it works, and where
to get the best deal on it is an obsession.

Computers? I build my own. Buying a car? I'll research until I know every statistic and the dealer
cost of every nut and bolt. Adding a room on the house? I'll just have to design it and build it myself.
Medical problems? Let's just say I could drive most doctors crazy!

Over the years my wife and kids have had to put up with a lot, and I can only imagine what my parents
went through as I pulled stunts like building a hot air balloon using a lunchbox, a huge sheet of plastic,
and a gallon of gasoline. I didn't travel too far, but the fire was amazing! I also remember the day I
dissolved a hole in our concrete patio experimenting with my chemistry set. Then there was the time…

Well, back to the wandering mind thing. My brain gets bored very easily, so I do a lot of "deep
thinking" while working on other things. I'm the poster child for multi-tasking. Now we all occasionally
spend time thinking about those age old questions like "When did time begin?" But as we get older, it
seems that we become preoccupied with other important items like earning a living.

So when did time begin? Many of our illustrious scientists have spent quite a few hours over the years
guessing the ages of things here on earth. Some of them have gone on to successful careers
guessing ages and weights of people at county fairs.

Scientists actually do a decent job of dating artifacts from the last few thousand years. It's when they
begin speculating on older items by prefacing the date with "plus or minus a few million years", that
let's me know it's just that - a guess. I'm still trying to comprehend how time could even begin when
something had to be there before it started.

Oh well, on to question two. If God created everything, then where did God come from? After
pondering that one for a while, I've come to the conclusion that I'll have to wait until I can ask God, if
you know what I mean. Somehow, I get the distinct impression that man's limited intellect will never
be able to find a solution here.

Here's another… Where does the universe begin and end? Of course that leads to the related
question: If the universe has a beginning and end, then what is outside of that? And if there were
nothing outside of it, wouldn't the universe continue to expand forever in an attempt to fill the void?
Which means that there had to be a beginning? Right? OK, glance at your watch and be thankful that
in only a couple of minutes you will be done with this.

While you are looking at your watch, think about how earth time is based upon our 24 -hour planetary
rotation. Now each planet is a different size and has its own rotation speed. If a planet completes its
rotation at a faster speed than earth, do we just reduce the number of hours in that planet's day? Or
do we reduce the number of minutes in an hour so that we can keep the same number of hours? Or do
we reduce the number of seconds in a minute? And who is to say that earth time is correct anyway?
Of course there are those who say that time doesn't exist in the natural universe and is just a
manmade creation.

By now you're probably either deep in thought as you ponder these age old questions, or you are
looking up the phone number of the nearest mental institution to check on an available room for me.
I'll pass this time.

Just remember as you go about your daily routine, that if you take time to ponder these unknowns,
then your problems here on earth won't seem so big anymore… unless you have to rebuild 170 web
sites.