Charles Shiflett Column December 19, 2004

Dear Santa...

Hey Big Guy… Chuck here. You know I'm not much of a Christmas person; it's gotten just too
commercial. If it were up to me, there would be no tree or decorations in my house. However, I do
enjoy giving and getting presents. Santa, I've been a fairly good boy and I promise to be even better
next year! Here's my list along with some things I hope you'll bring my friends.

• For the Democrats: More radical leftwing leaders like "Screaming" Howard Dean, Al Gore, and John
Kerry, who are destroying what remains of their party.

• For the Republicans: Enough backbone to stop all this runaway social spending that is driving up the
Federal deficit. Also, we need some officials with the guts to shut the borders and put an end to illegal
immigration.

• For the Libertarians: Courage to continue pushing for individual liberty. They won't get what they
want, but it does swing the overall body politic a little further right.

• For the IRS: A permanent vacation… and if we're really, really good maybe a flat tax or Fair Tax
replacement?

• For Sonny Perdue: A successful 2005 session of the General Assembly. Georgians need it and
Sonny's reelection chances would get a boost. Note to Sonny… I have photos of you doing the Twist
on that riverboat ride we took four years ago. Maybe we need to talk.

• For Canada: Government approval so Canadians can begin receiving Fox New Channel. Canada
needs a conservative revolution badly.

• For Paris Hilton: A new fashion designer who doesn't have fabric phobia. A nice extra touch would be
one year of real poverty so Paris can see how others really live.

• For Britney Spears: An entire year with no new records or concerts. She and her new hubby need
time to enjoy married life and we all need a break. If it wouldn't be too much, some singing lessons
would make a great stocking stuffer.

• For Bartow County: Automobile emissions testing so we can get some of these loud polluting
clunkers off our local roads. Plus we could use a few less billboards junking up the scenery.

• For local drivers: Some limited access bypasses around the county so we don't have to spend as
much time stuck in traffic looking at the ugly billboards.

• For Bartow taxpayers: Quality slow growth that pays its own way.

• For the Bartow BOE: A heaping helping of common sense and good will as they begin their search
for a new superintendent.

• For Bartow Residents: A top-notch professional to successfully head up our school system for many
years to come.

• For the NBA: Less hip-hop mentality and a little more pure basketball. If I wanted to watch a fight, I'd
tune in a hockey game. Thankfully the NHL season was cancelled.

• For Georgia Tech: A new quarterback for the football Jackets and a trip to the Final Four for the
roundball squad.

• For Georgia: A hammer to knock some sense into Dr. Adams and company for trying to resurrect
this race-based admissions stuff.

• For the Atlanta Braves: A losing season. Fans have gotten too complacent.

• For Barry Bonds: A big fat "steroid" asterisk beside his name in the MLB record books.

• For the Falcons: Some consistency heading into the playoffs.

• For Christians: Retailers and government officials who aren't afraid of actually saying and using the
word Christmas instead of politically correct phrases like "winter holidays".

• For me: A new Infiniti QX56. This one isn't going to happen, but it never hurts to ask.

• For my wife: A new Infiniti QX56 in case I don't get mine. (Plus Santa likes her better.)

• For everyone: A happy, healthy, prosperous 2005. Happy holidays… I mean Merry Christmas!