Charles Shiflett Column November 21, 2004

Things That Tick You Off

One of the benefits associated with being a regular writer is that readers send me great ideas for possible
columns. I keep a list of the better suggestions and some may grace these pages in the future. I also
receive feedback on many things that tick people off. These topics individually don't justify an entire column,
but I've picked out several to share with you. See how many of these would make your list of items that bug
you.

• Cell phones: One of the top complaints is the use of cell phones in inappropriate places such as during
church services. Some people are so hooked they can't even turn them off long enough to eat. Also, folks
who insist on using loud obnoxious ring tones instead of setting their phones to vibrate.

• Loud Stereos: Thump, thump, thump. The everyday sounds of life are noisy enough without adding to the
problem with house rattling car stereos. Don't you wish you had a remote control to shut them off when they
drive by?

• Bad Drivers: Nasty driving habits seem to drive many of us crazy. Very few drivers know how to handle four-
way stops or even two-way stops when several cars are heading in different directions. Do you drive in the
left lane on a multilane highway while others are forced to pass you on the right? If so, you may be on
Santa's naughty list.

It also seems we have an epidemic of broken turn signals. It's not just the failure to use them while changing
lanes; many of us don't use them period. And would you please accelerate a little more quickly after the traffic
light changes? The folks behind you would like to get through the intersection without waiting for another
light sequence.

• Spam: Anyone with an e-mail address gets it and we're all tired of it. Tar and feathers for the culprits would
be too nice. I don't want to enlarge anything or buy drugs without a prescription. And if Alice Walker is
reading, I'm not buying your software at a really low price.

• Political Phone Calls: It's gotten to the point where politicians using automated phone calls are actually
losing votes. I personally received five calls in two days on behalf of one elected official. At least we can throw
the political mail away unread.

• National Anthem: Just sing the song the way it was written. All the ooh's and ahhh's are just a little too
much.

• Adult Oriented TV Commercials: The major drug companies are pouring huge sums into promoting Levitra,
Viagra, and all the other adult wonder drugs. Obviously the commercials work, because sales are off the
chart and so is many folk's blood pressure every time one of the ads pops up on the tube.

• Out Of Stock Merchandise: If you advertise it, then order enough to keep it in stock. Grocery stores are the
worst culprits. I know; I was in retail grocery management many, many years ago.

• Political Correctness: The world needs more straight talkers like Zell Miller and Neal Boortz. Just give us
the plain truth without all the watered down niceties. We may not agree with you, but at least we know where
you stand. And a note to school officials: It's called Christmas holidays - not winter break.

• Illegals: If a candidate for president had the guts to support deporting all illegals and would also shut down
the borders, he or she could win in a landslide.

• Democrats: The election proved the point that Democrats just don't get it.

• Republicans: Well no real problems, but I wanted to appear fair.

• Growth: Bartow County had 40,000 people in 1980. We will soon hit 100,000 and it's going to accelerate
from there. Too many people too fast.

• Tipping: No not cow tipping… haven't done that since high school. Actually "tip" is an acronym meaning "to
improve service". It used to be 10%, but now it's 15% or 20%. Just set you prices to cover everything and quit
making us guess which services we are supposed to tip for and how much we are supposed to give.

• Liter Bugs: One lady told me that picking up trash in front of her house had become her new morning
workout routine. She's lost 17 pounds. Maybe she needs to produce a workout video. If you need to lose
weight, send me your address and I'll post it so the litterbugs can find you.

• Leaves: Actually this one's mine. I live in the woods and this time of year is a mess. At least I don't have to
mow five acres every week.

Well, I'm glad I was able to get all these things off your collective chests. So did anything tick you off? Now
where's my rake?