Charles Shiflett Column September 26, 2004

Growing Tired Of Bob

Bob really seems like a nice guy. He's decent looking with a big smile. He has a great white-collar job
and belongs to the local country club. He and his lovely wife live in a nice home and have many good
friends. Bob would probably make a fantastic neighbor, but he has a big problem. And unfortunately,
through the power of television, we now all know about Bob's problem and what he did to treat it.

Yes, I'm referring to that Bob… Enzyte Bob of TV commercial fame. The spots are humorous and I'm
sure they've made a lot of money for someone. Free enterprise at work, right? Call me old fashioned,
but I believe many Americans are tired of overtly sexual commercials for Enzyte, Viagra, Levitra,
Cialis, and all the other male and female “enhancement” products being promoted.

There are some things we Southerners just don't discuss in mixed company. It's uncomfortable to
watch television with friends or family when one of these ads pops up - especially if children are
present. And let's not stop there, commercials for contraceptives and feminine hygiene products are
just as disconcerting.

Of course this opens up the arguments about free speech versus community standards. Unlike the
1950's and 60's, programming today is beamed in from around the globe twenty-four hours a day, yet
community standards vary greatly from one locale to another. Things that wouldn't raise an eyebrow in
New York or San Francisco would be taboo here.

Like most of you age 40 and up, as a child we had a rooftop antenna and pulled in ABC, CBS, NBC,
and PBS. The programming was wholesome, simple, and entertaining for that time. With only four
choices, it was easy to talk about television with your friends because we all watched many of the
same shows.

Today's audiences are more sophisticated, which requires deeper plots, wider variety, and ever
increasing shock value in order to hold the viewer's attention. Thankfully Janet Jackson's alleged
“wardrobe malfunction” may have temporarily tempered this hedonistic race of anything goes on the
nation's airwaves, but it won't last long.

You could just turn off the tube, but is that the solution? And even though the technology exists for
blocking channels and programming from young prying eyes, the systems do not always operate as
they should and many parents give up. Having once been a little boy, I can honestly say if there's a
way to beat the system and see something off limits, most boys will find a way.

I've been a satellite TV customer for several years and have every channel offered except for the adult
entertainment junk, yet I find myself primarily watching the same handful of channels. I should switch
to a lower cost programming package and give up the stuff I don't watch, but I feel like I might miss
something.

It's been a long time since I've watched a sitcom, drama, or other regular network offering. When I look
at TV Guide or some other entertainment publication, I recognize very few of the faces or names of
today's stars. My regular viewing consists of three religious channels, Fox News, the Weather
Channel, the home improvement networks, occasionally CNBC during stock trading hours, and
sometimes one of the biography, history, or science offerings.

Compared to most Americans, I'm really out of the mainstream when it comes to my entertainment
choices. I gave up pro sports about ten years ago after becoming fed up with the labor strikes, high
salaries, and the off-field antics of the coddled crybaby superstars. I still tune in Georgia and Georgia
Tech football and basketball games, but thanks to TiVo, a three-hour game can be compressed to just
over an hour.

I never watch the Emmy's, Oscar's, or any of the other awards shows. These actors and musicians
are paid to perform a job just like your car mechanic, insurance agent, or grocery store manager.
There's more to do in life than waste time watching Hollywood's elite strut around in front of a camera.

Yes, America's moral foundation is being weakened by an entertainment industry peddling immorality
and I'm not sure what the answer is. An all-powerful government telling us what we can watch is just
as dangerous as a totally free-market Libertarian approach of anything goes. The stakes are high and
our nation's children are caught in the middle.

Now where's that remote? It's football season and I think there's a commercial for a new pill that helps
you more accurately throw a ball through a tire swing. At least I think that's what it does… I had the
sound turned down. I was tired of hearing about Bob.